Nothing particularly deep here, and it’s probably kinda offensive, but I can’t stop watching this. Enjoy.
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I could go ahead and spew forth a wicked-ass how-to on taking a punch, but that’d just be regurgitation of lots of stuff that already exists. It should be noted, though, that there are lots of ways to take a punch, and not all of them are exactly manly. Well, there are two ways to take a punch: well, and not so well. If you fall into the latter camp, it’s probably a good time to learn (like me).
Like I said before, there are lots of how-tos out there, and all of them vary in their value. While it’s fun to read a how-to, its value tends to be tenuous at best unless you’re going out to do some hands-on training. Think about it: the last time you read a how-to was for something you were going out to do. That set of instructions on how to refinish a hardwood floor? Unless you’re going to pretty up the first floor of your house, it’s totally worthless.
The first, and perhaps only, thing to do, I guess, would be to join a gym that teaches boxing or some other contact sport. You know, if you really want to know how to take and/or throw a punch. The folks who work at these gyms know more than any Internet how-to could probably ever prepare you for.
The alternate solution, of course, is to read a bunch of how-tos on the Internet, then pick out the drunkest guy in the bar and start calling him names. Which one sounds more helpful? Spend the money. Seriously–you’re less likely to get hurt.
For the purposes of defining the manliness of the act, though, it’s important for me to note that taking a punch well is among the most manly things one can achieve, at least in terms of that brawny, stereotypical, inner caveman type of manliness. The thought of taking one on the chin, continuing to stand and deliver a knockout blow of your own seems to me to be somewhat romantic (and not in a Ghost kind of way). At a minimum, the ability to do so speaks to our higher concept of manliness–it’s our charge as men (and perhaps as people) to know how to do as many things as we possibly can, and not all of them are fun. Taking a punch meets these qualifications.
I know a guy who told a guy, after taking a punch, that he’d just fucked up. Fight over. Who do think won? And without even throwing one himself. Need I say more?
If Vengeance Be My Destiny is The Cincinnati Man’s Sunday comic. This is installment #18. You can catch up on the story right here.
Every Saturday, The Cincinnati Man brings you everything that was awesome on the Internet the week previous. As this is Saturday and the Internet was awesome this week, today’s no different. You can find past dump festivals here.
I had a “You’re Old” moment this week at my job. I found out that Pavement’s getting back together for a 2010 tour, and naturally got excited. I mentioned this to a work chum who’s five or six years younger than me, and she said, “Who?” Then I went to lunch, and we didn’t talk about it anymore. Great story, right?
This week’s Rock Box is Pavement. Enjoy.