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The Finished Swing Set
Hey all. I’m new around here, and a big thanks to Jason et al. for creating this great website and letting me write for it. Some quick vitals about myself: I’m 33, married with 3 kids, and live in Burlington, KY, which is like the small Kentucky town I grew up in, only the cool stuff to do is 5 miles away instead of 25, which, as Frost would say, makes all the difference. I would tell you what I do for a living, but I don’t want you to get the wrong impression about me. If you want to know more about me or see other stuff I’ve written, you can check out my own website. /shameless plug
Over this past year, I’ve taken on a number of projects that test my manliness. Some have turned out better than others. I’ll be discussing them in a series I’m calling “Testing My Manliness” (TMM for short), starting with the most successful project to date: building a swing set for my kids.
If you have the room, the time, and the money, you should build a swing set for your kids. Why?
- It involves power tools. Keep the ER visits to a minimum, and you’ll be all set.
- You will bond with other men.
- You’ll get the satisfaction of seeing something raised from the ground by your own hands, like Pa Ingalls building his own house–except you won’t have to sleep outside or carve your own nails.
- Your wife and kids will be impressed.
- You’ll learn to build big stuff.
Most of the stuff that I “build” comes from IKEA. That’s not very manly. A key ring of Allen wrenches is manly. A single Allen wrench in a plastic baggie is not.
Swing sets raise the stakes, without requiring electrical or plumbing work or forcing you to sleep in the den while you remodel your bedroom. They come with clear plans written by people who know more than you. All of the necessary parts and tools are laid out in advance. If you can build a Lego Millennium Falcon, you can build a swing set.
A couple of pieces of advice based on my own experience.
Buy a kit that doesn’t come with its own pre-cut lumber. We went with the Jungle Fort from Detailed Play Systems, a mail-order company. It will be more work, and possibly more expensive in the end. Nonetheless, it’s worth it. For one thing, you’ll end up with a much higher quality swing set. It will also be much more satisfying to buy, cut, and drill all of your own lumber – believe me. Mail-order adds to the cool factor. There’s just something about the UPS guy delivering a 75-pound box that clanks.
Cats will not help you. They have no thumbs and they care only for themselves.
Get one or two older men to help. If you have a father, a father-in-law, or grandfather who knows something about building stuff, ask them to help. They’ll be secretly delighted. Frankly, when it comes to building stuff, most of the time they know more than you do. Be careful, though. Ask one older guy to help, and you’ll get to learn from his collected wisdom. Ask two older guys to help, and you might spend all afternoon debating the proper method to drill a countersink.
Get your friends to help. I heard somewhere that women build friendships sitting face-to-face, and men build friendships working shoulder-to-shoulder. Corny, yeah, but I’ve found it to be true. Just be prepared with the right amounts of pizza and beer (after you finish, unless you think ten fingers are just too many), and be ready to return the favor when they need help.
Borrow tools. It’s better financially. Why spend hundreds of bucks on stuff you’ll use only once when you can get it for free? It’s better for the planet. If there’s a perfectly good miter saw sitting in someone’s garage, why buy a new one? And it’s better for you. Most guys, at least the ones I know, don’t like asking for help. Truth is, we all need help. No man is an island, etc. Asking to borrow a tool is an easy way of learning how to ask for stuff. That way, when you really need help, you’ll know how to do it. And you’ll already know who will be there for you.
Read the plans. They aren’t “instructions.” Instructions are for wimps. Instructions tell you what you already know or what you can easily figure out. These are plans, the same thing that architects, construction foremen, and mad scientists use. And, if you know the plans inside and out, then you’ll be able to tell the guys helping you what to do without being an idiot. That’s a great way to build your confidence and win their respect. When my swing set was all done, my dad confessed that, when I’d started, he didn’t think I could do it. When I was 16, I would have gotten mad and stormed out of the house. Now, I said, “Thanks,” and shook his hand. Pretty damn manly.
Learn from my mistakes. Here are some things I wish I’d known.
- Budget more time and money than you expect.
- Measure twice, cut once. Or you’ll be like me, standing on a shaking five-foot platform trying to drill a straight hole through a vertical post that would have been a piece of cake if I hadn’t overlooked it the first time.
- Don’t leave tools out where your 1-year-old can play with them. You know, unless you think hardened steel chisels and power saws are good kid toys.
- Set aside big chunks of time. I thought I’d worked an hour or two each night. Surprise: I spent a half hour getting set up, ten minutes working, then another half hour putting everything back. Take a couple of days off work, and set aside a full weekend or two (or three – see above).
Overall, it was a great success. Our new swing set looks like it could last 20 years, my kids love it, and my wife has a whole new respect for my building skillz. Which means she now expects me to finish the basement. Oy.
Testing My Manliness Score: A+
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Front pg. thumb:http://www.flickr.com/photos/44832160@N00/ / CC BY 2.0
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