The multi-day hangover

I’m still a bit hung over as I’m writing this Monday night. Your first thought is probably “Why the hell did you go out drinking on Sunday night, idiot?”

I didn’t.

I went out Saturday night.

I went on a pub crawl with 70 of my closest friends on the rugby team that included coach bus transportation to each bar, a lot of free cheap beer, and a lot of purchased better beer and liquor. I have such a bad history with hangovers, however, that I managed to avoid any hard alcohol whatsoever, holding strong when free shots were being handed to me. Even in my most imbibed state, I stuck to beer. As much as I miss my good friend Jack, apparently, that still isn’t good enough.

The drinking started around 5 pm, and I had my last beer at around 2 am. I realize that is a lot of drinking, but I then proceeded to drink about eight glasses of water before bed. I figured all of that water as well as the lack of hard alcohol would render me somewhat alive the following day. It didn’t.

As I lay in bed all morning, afternoon, and evening on Sunday, because standing up elicited a sudden desire to go pray before the porcelain shrine in my bathroom, I tried to understand why this had happened to me. I have friends who don’t know what a hangover feels like. I have friends who do shots until 4 am and can still wake up the next morning and go for a run. My 54 year old father keeps pace with me at night and then calls me a bitch the next day. I’ve tried to learn to be more responsible when I drink, because I know I’m just really susceptible to getting a goddamn hangover. But come on! This is getting ridiculous.

One theory that was offered is that I’m just getting old. At 23. If that’s true, I guess I need to quit drinking at 25 or my liver’s just going to up and quit.

I don’t know of anyone else who has gotten hangovers this bad. I’m pretty sure that I’ll be okay tomorrow, but I’ve had it last 72 hours before. I’ve never heard of anyone else with a problem this bad, regardless of age, sex, race, amount they drank that night, amount of medication used the next day. Side note: Throwing up after drinking Pepto Bismol for 3 hours is sort of scary at first, because it looks like you’re puking a ton of blood. That one took me a second to figure out.

Please, someone tell me they’ve had worse. Make me feel just a little better about the weak set of internal organs I appear to have been dealt. Has anyone had a hangover last more than 3 days? Do you have issues like this? How do you cope? Because giving up drinking altogether just isn’t going to work. I’m German and I play rugby.

Seriously, anyone with a good remedy, hit that comment button down there and let me know. I’m getting kind of desperate.

Preferably before Friday night.

_______________________

Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/notionscapital/ / CC BY 2.0

Diseases I’m Glad I Don’t Have–Alopecia Areata [Bald Chicks]

In a society obsessed with beauty, youth, and all things generally dead sexy, another disease I’m glad I don’t have is Alopecia Areata. This condition is characterized by a lack of hair. It’s not just baldness, however, as the hair is lost on the scalp, and sometimes all over the body. There are no known cures, and this conditition is usually paired with other autoimmune diseases.  Ergh.

4 Reasons Chad Ochocinco Hayworth Mountain Dew Johnson Hachi Go is Awesome

Football talent aside, COCHMDJHG (that’s Chad Ochocinco Hayworth Mountain Dew Johnson Hachi Go to you) is a pretty awesome guy.  He treats his life like it’s a 24-hour show, which can seem somewhat ridiculous, but there’s something about that that, if you’re following NFL football, makes you want to tune in, at least every once in a while.  And if it doesn’t do that, it makes you so freaking crazy you want to strangle him.  Either way, that seems to work for COCHMDJHG.

1. He eats like your uncle Ralph. Yep.  There have been countless stories and media mentions of Hachi’s McDonald’s diet.  I’m not entirely sure how blown up this is, but the guy apparently eats like Morgan Spurlock in the middle of a 30 day experiment.  Which proves that he’s a freak of nature, because otherwise he’d be a big marshmallow pig by now.  And being a freak of nature is pretty awesome.

2.He does crazy shit for fun. Nothing proves this fact more than this photo: http://twitpic.com/sjtdy

3. He responds well to criticism. And by “well,” I mean “hilarious.”  In response to Cris Carter’s talk about how Hachi Go is a selfish player, Chad says, “Tell Cris Carter I never did drugs and wasn’t and alcoholic like him when I played.”  Ouch.

4. He has a keen understanding of how media and marketing works. Twitter.  Ustream.  ESPN Interviews.  Post-touchdown celebrations.  Chad’s an interesting dude, and if he didn’t do all of these things, the only people who knew of him would be Cincinnatians.  The celebrations lead to ESPN interviews.  Both of these lead to lots of face time during games.  This leads to lots of traffic on his Twitter and Ustream accounts.  Remember Terrell Owens?  He used to be a similar type of media darling.  He went to Buffalo, left the limelight, and he doesn’t seem to talk as much anymore.  Point is, it’s something you have to maintain.  It takes a lot of energy, apparently.

The whole thing is a deft (or perhaps not-so-deft) structure for him to stay in the forefront of your consciousness.  If the media is always thinking about Chad, the chances aren’t bad that you are, too.  AND THAT’S HOW HE GETS YOU, PEOPLE.  Just like he got us.

Rats.

Comic: If Vengeance Be My Destiny #30

If Vengeance Be My Destiny is TCM’s Sunday comic. You can catch up on the rest of the story right here.

The Saturday Rock Box: Bolt Thrower

BLEEEEEEEEEEARRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH.

Need I say more?  This week’s Rock Box is Bolt Thrower.  Go wreck shit.

The Saturday Dump Festival

TSDF is The Cincinnati Man’s weekly linkdump of everything that was awesome on the Internet this week.  You can find past festivals here.

–I don’t know that I’ve ever seen 9/11 mistaken for 911.  Somehow, the Washington Post managed to get it done, and in exactly the way you might hope. (HT CNati.com)

–Because you know you need it: how to make your very own Bat signal.

–If this photo taken by the Hubble doesn’t cause you to chub up just a little, you’re completely inhuman.

–Jawbox reunites on Fallon, of all places.  No matter–it was FUCKING AWESOME.

–Hey, there’s a Bollywood movie about a kid with progeria.  Wild.

–I’ve found my Christmas beer: Brooklyn Black Ops.

–Via BoingBoing, this is what happens when you get all stupid around really, really strong magnets.  Yeah, lots of grossness.

–There’s something to be said for committing to something for decades.  When that something is constructing a city out of toothpicks, you get to look at the results in a way unlike anything else.  Wonderful.

–For the man who has everything: SAUSAGE BRIEFCASE.