Another Reason to Love the Taveras/Rosales/Miles Trade

We all know that Willy Taveras sucks monkey nuts at the game of baseball.  None of us liked him as a Cincinnati Red, and none of us could possibly be happier that the Dusty Baker favorite won’t be wearing a Reds uni any time soon.  The counterpoint, of course, is that the ol’ Redlegs got rid of super-enthusiastic-and-incredibly-shitty-batter Adam Rosales, a guy who’s ass ugly and, as a result, a lot of fun to watch.  Who doesn’t love an ugly guy every now and again?

But what of the fella that the Reds got in return, Aaron Miles?

Whelp, if I’ve got anything to say about it, they only got the MANLIEST FREAKING BASEBALL PLAYER EVER.

This article from the Chicago Sun-Times is pretty awesome and tells the story nicely.  A quick summary:

• A crazy-ass gunman forces his way into Miles’s Florida hotel room.
• He holds Miles hostage for about a half-hour.
• The gunman makes a mistake.
• Miles manages to wrestle him to the ground without a round going off.
• The cops manage to get into the room and shoot the gunman six times.  While Miles is holding him down.

I’d like to posit the notion, as you might have already guessed, that Aaron Miles is now a Cincinnati Red for no other reason than to fill a void of manliness that’s existed since the team got rid of Jason LaRue.  Whether he plays, plays well, or rides the bench, HE IS HERE TO MAKE THE TEAM MORE MANLY.  In essence, he is to serve as the testicles of the Cincinnati Reds–just because you’ve got giant balls doesn’t mean you’ve gotta whip ‘em out all the damn time.

(h/t Red Reporter)

Related posts:

1. Dear Reds: Please Trade Aaron Harang
2. The Great Red Hope
3. Cincinnati Reds Pre-Season Primer Part Deux: Position Players
4. The Reds!
5. The Reds Front Office is Stupid.