The Saturday Rock Box: Lungfish

There’s something that draws me to music that I don’t completely understand.  That said, there’s got to be some underlying quality that reaches out to me, and Lungfish does just this.  They’re a spectacle in more ways than one; Dan Higgs’s enigmatic lyrics reach way over your head and bring you back to the earth while the rest of the band’s harmonic, rhythmic drone hypnotizes you into a buzzing, docile mass.

Make sense?  Just watch the videos.  You’ll get it; if you don’t love it, you’re a chump. Vids on the other side.
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The Saturday Dump Festival

TSDF is The Cincinnati Man’s weekly linkdump of all the junk that was awesome on the internet over the previous week.  Kick back, spark one, and enjoy yourself.

• Bender versus Robocop proves the hell out of something, but I’m not entirely sure what that something is as of yet.
• This story about a person who’s in the process of becoming legally androgynous is pretty powerful, important stuff.
• Suppose you’re the first person to actually make contact with extraterrestrials.  You’re going to want this quick guide on what to do so that you don’t make us all look like fools.
• Another in a long line of high school kids getting utterly posterized in basketball.  Awesome.
• From the cheap crap you don’t need but is still amazing file: Beard Me–an iPhone app where you can put a beard on any picture.  If it could put real beards on stuff, it’d be better, but you’re gonna have to settle.
• If it weren’t captioned the entire time, this faceplant vid would have been so much better.  But hey, faceplant.  I ain’t complaining.
• The Onion AV Club is running a sort of cover song roulette.  The first band to give it a go?  Ted Leo and the Pharmacists playing Tears for Fears, and they actually made me like the song.
• This Chatroulette video made the rounds like crazy.  I guess I can see the draw, but whatever.
• I think I’m seeing the signs that I’m getting old; all these internet takes on the stuff I should feel nostalgic about are beginning to bore the shit out of me.  Could be that or this TMNT parody just sucks.
• Here’s a too-long montage of dunces wiping out on motorbikes.  Enjoy.
• Finally–the LHC typo we’ve all been waiting for!

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Out on the Town- Check With a Chick’s Advice [Don't Try to be a PUA, Please]

Every time I’m out at the bars on a weekend, I spend more time observing the madness around me than I do interacting with my friends (at least I’m not on my phone the whole time, updating my Facebook status or helping my stalkers find me by Tweeting).  Maybe it’s my background (I have a master’s in Communication, with a concentration in Interpersonal Communication- I’m not totally blowing smoke on this thing), but there is something truly fascinating about the mating dance that occurs in bars and nightclubs.

Exhibit A: The Appletini. If you drink this and you're a dude, you're not allowed to listen to Black Sabbath anymore.

First of all, just because you’re at a martini bar, doesn’t mean you need to drink a martini.  If you do, drink a real martini.  It’s extremely difficult to take a man seriously when there is a cherry at the bottom of his martini glass.  TCM did a roundtable a while back about the manliest drink- take your cues from that, or order beer.  And not a Michelob Ultra for pete’s sake.

Second, there are usually three categories of men’s fashion at a bar.  We have the douches: they will be wearing Ed Hardy t-shirts, pinstripe button-downs with imprinted eagles or angel wings on the back, or anything that shows of their brownish-orange bodies.  You might also see the People of Walmart specimen.  There is nowhere that a leather Ohio State jacket is appropriate attire.  He might also be wearing dad jeans, an ill-fitting shirt (borrowed from a friend), and/or a baseball hat featuring a brand of liquor.  Finally, we have the normal guys.  There is actually a broad range for this group.  While women are impressed with a well-put-together man, we don’t have very high standards.  Plus, if he is too fashionable, we figure he’s gay and/or taken.  If you get two outfits that have been endorsed by neutral females, just wear them repeatedly.  If all else fails, wear a black button-down shirt, dark jeans, and black shoes.  Don’t tuck your shirt in.  Don’t wear jewelry- especially rings and bracelets.

Overall, don’t get wasted.  Even if you manage to find a girl willing to look past your drunkenness, you won’t be able to get it up.  Your biggest ally is often not your own wingman, but those of your target.  Women bring their own “wingpersons” and they can be makers or breakers.  If one of the women is wearing a wedding ring, talk to her.  It shows that you aren’t just trying to get laid (even though you are).  You’re a buddy!  You’re just having a good time.  Plus, married chicks still like to get attention.  You can never go wrong with advice from Prince: “I saw your friend first / That’s who I danced with / All the time I was watching you.”  It plays on a woman’s natural propensity for jealousy and being territorial AND you look like a nice guy who just wants to be friends with everyone.

There you go, dudes.  I’m probably going to get kicked out of the next meeting of Straight Single Chicks Club, but hopefully you’ll send a thank you note.  And hell, if you buy me a drink, I’ll let you hang out with us at our next happy hour.

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Photo credits: http://www.flickr.com/photos/antigone/ / CC BY 2.0

$10 Hot Dogs? A trip to Senate Pub in OTR.

Familiar, Yet Gourmet

Senate Pub serves what they describe as gourmet street food.  The idea is that these are the foods we already eat:  simple soups, grilled cheese sandwiches, hot dogs, and hamburgers yet taken to another level of flavor and presentation.  The smallish interior is modern yet comfortable, with exposed brick and warm colors.  The service is good, as you would expect from an establishment at this price point.

So about that $10 hot dog…

The Food

We ordered…

Poutine ($9) Brought to you by America’s Hat, poutine is traditionally french fries and cheese curds covered in smooth brown gravy.  If you’re like me, that sounds both delicious and repulsive at the same time.  And oh, it is.  Senate’s version of this low-brow dish is true to the original, only additionally topped with fork-tender braised short ribs.

Cream of Mushroom Soup ($5) This was the “Soup of the Day” and it was fantastic.  The base was very creamy and perfectly seasoned.  The mushroom flavor was pronounced and full of heady earthiness.  I could eat a gallon of this stuff.

Croque Madame Hotdog ($10), pictured. Start with a fresh baked brioche bun, saddle in an all-beef hot dog, top with a slice of ham, an egg fried over easy, and a healthy dollop of bechamel.  The hot dog itself was grilled over a wood fire, and it smelled smoky and delicious.  Is it worth the $10 price tag?  You’ll have to order one and decide for yourself.

Grilled Cheese ($11) How do you make a grilled cheese less boring?  Use gooey fontina, add braised pork belly, caramelized onions, and a few slices of ripe avocado.  This isn’t a sandwich for the faint (or healthy) of heart; the amount of fat in the cheese, butter, pork, and avocado produced an extremely rich mouthful of food.  Did I mention it was a delicious mouthful?

Duck Fat Fries ($6) Plain old french fries, fried in duck fat and delivered to the table in a parchment lined pint glass and a side of remoulade.  The fries themselves were delicious.  Crispy exterior, moist and potato-y interior, and the dipping sauce was tasty.  However, I’d be lying if I said I thought they were significantly better being fried in duck fat over a normal oil.  I’d probably forgo them next time.

The Beer

It would be remiss to talk about a trip to Senate without talking about the bar.  Senate is of the new breed of establishment that has hired “mixology” specialists to develop their list of cocktails and other offerings.  While I enjoy a well crafted cocktail like anybody, my true love is beer.  Senate has 8 beers on tap and another two dozen or so in bottles.  On tap are 2 Belgian (both ales) and 6 craft domestics (4 ales, 1 stout, 1 pilsner.)  I tried…

Ithaca Flower Power ($6) I love a good IPA, and this was fantastic.  If you dislike the flowery, almost perfume-y character of the hops in some IPAs, you may be thinking twice about ordering this.  Don’t.  It is surprisingly well balanced, and one of my fellow diners who is not generally an IPA fan found it delicious.  It’s light and tangy, with great mouthfeel and a smooth aftertaste.

Lefthand Milk Stout ($8) This is already one of my favorite stouts to drink out of bottles (at $10.49/6pk, unfortunately), so I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to try it on draught.  It did not disappoint.  Creamy, lightly malty, a little bit of chocolate and coffee… just superb.

Worth the Price?

Gourmet street food is not exactly a cutting edge culinary conceit, but it works well at bridging the (albeit significant) gap between fine dining and Frisch’s.  The burger is cooked over a wood fire (with smells to match) and comes with pickles that they make in-house.  The sliders are made from butter-braised lobster.  The peanut butter and jelly has foie gras on it.  What’s not to love?  Only the price, as far as I can tell.  Whether or not it’s worth it comes down to your taste buds and your appreciation of novelty.  Personally, I enjoyed every minute and will happily go back again.

One of the coolest parts about the space is a feature we haven’t yet seen, as far as I’m aware.  In good weather, the floor to ceiling windows facing Vine Street can open up completely into a patio along the sidewalk.  I’d imagine you’ll see this interesting aspect of Senate once the weather is consistently warmer.  Talk about opening yourself up to the neighborhood…

Senate is located on the East side of Vine Street, just north of Central Parkway in the Gateway Quarter of Over the Rhine.  The space is small, so call ahead for reservations.  Order me a beer, will ya?

Wait, It’s What Today?

Happy St. Patrick’s Day, y’all.  Don’t drink too much, and for God’s sake, call a cab.

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Justin Jeffre is a Dreadful Writer.

Every now and again, I’ll hop around to other Cincinnati blogs and, you know, read things.  A personal favorite of mine, which might be classified as something of a guilty pleasure, is the Cincinnati Beacon.  I rarely completely agree with them on a political level, but the website does make me think from time to time, and I appreciate that.

I saw this headline and was pleased that they were covering the topic: “Transforming the way we see transgendered people.” Here’s what I expected to read: an entry ranging from 500-1500 words asking the question: how do we practically approach a challenge to the status quo’s perception of gender dynamics? How do we make our society a more accepting place for people who don’t necessarily fit into the push/pull-gendered world that we unfortunately tend to live in?

This piece exists somewhere, and I’d be interested to read it.

Here’s what I got, however: A statement that “CNN has been giving a lot of coverage to transgendered people lately,” and that “Society’s ability to accept some people’s transitions will increase as people hear their stories as begin to see them for the human beings that they are.”

This might look like nothing more than bait to start an Internet slap fight, not unlike another one we recently had with The Dean a lil’ while back.  It’s not.  My interest here is wholly within the realm of impactful writing, something at which Mr. Jeffre appears to be failing miserably.  Simply stating that our ability to accept the transitions of transgendered people will increase as we hear their stories and linking to information about Chaz Bono’s story isn’t the same thing as telling us a story about people we might know, or even plumbing the depths of this as a topic.

Let’s think about something we learned in high school English.  It’s called the “Five Paragraph Essay.” It’s a fairly simple structure that, believe it or not, many, many essays are based on (even some that aren’t five paragraphs.  I know, right?), and it’s pretty ground-floor stuff when it comes to writing.  In fact, it’s a general structure that just about every publication, internet and otherwise, uses with some variation.

In looking at Mr. Jeffre’s piece, I’m seeing a lengthy thesis statement here, but not much followup.  At a minimum, this is simply dreadful writing.  At its worst, it’s a disservice to the transgender community.  Aren’t people (in any community, for that matter) owed more than a lazy brushstroke that lacks depth or any kind of thought to the issues they deal with on a day-to-day basis?

Come on, man.  You can do better than that.  If you’re going to champion a cause, bring something to the table.  Don’t just say things thoughtlessly in an effort to seem like an activist.  That does nobody any good.

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