Because Your Balls Want To Rock: What’s New In Music This Week [4/26/10]

Well shit!  I have to start off this week with an apology.  Apparently I misinformed you last week by telling you that the NOFX show at The Madison Theater was last week.  What can I say, I’m dyslexic.  The show is actually this Friday.

With that out-of-the-way I would like to inform you of the one CD you shouldn’t bother with this week.  Hole returns with a new one called Nobody’s Daughter.  Disclaimer: This is not a Hole album.  This is Courtney Love milking her fallen fame by fucking her former band mates to somehow refurbish her crappy career.  There are no original  Hole members involved with this albums release or the upcoming tour and, without guitarist and co-founding member Eric Erlandson there is no Hole.  So put down the guitar Courtney(can’t fucking play it anyway) and get back to giving head in alleys for crack where you belong.

There are a few decent releases this week, like the new self-titled record from Scottish alternative/Lounge act Codeine Velvet Club.  Brooklyn based Acousmatic group Small Black have the Small Black EP. From Ireland with love, is Indie group Two Door Cinema Club with their newest Tourist History.  The pick for new release of the week, however, goes to Piebald.  After years of being solid road warriors, the group decided to call it quits in 2009.  This week you can relive their early years with Volume 1, a collection of the bands memorable early material.

As for seeing some rocking live shows this week, I have to get a little excited.  In 2001 I read an article in Spin Magazine reviewing the debut Minus The Bear album, Highly Refined Pirates.  I had recently finished my own review of the record and couldn’t think of anything but praises.  However, the bag of douche from Spin simply stated that it was just another Emo record from a mediocre Emo band.  He couldn’t have been more wrong.  Minus The Bear is not an Emo band.  You can call them Indie if you want but the shit these guys are playing is fucking amazing.  Think of it as Van Halen lite.  Complicated tapping guitar patterns laced with crooner style lyrics, backed up by one of the best drummers you’ll ever hear.  You can check them out on Wednesday at The Madison Theater and see for yourself.  Should be a great show from a great live band.  Another show that may interest some old-school Punk rockers out there is the return of British Punk legends The Business to The Southgate House on Tuesday.  And finally, North Carolina, Surf Rock legends Southern Culture On The Skids is playing at Southgate on Thursday.

So that’s it. Good tunes, good shows, and another week goes by.  Courtney Love still sucks and, Rock On.

Comic: If Vengeance Be My Destiny #49

If Vengeance Be My Destiny is TCM’s Sunday comic.  It’s the story of a killer robot on a mission to save the future, which involves taking care of a little baby.  Add some head-choppin’ and you’re almost there.

This is installment #49, and it’s not safe for work.  Not even a little bit.  Seriously, don’t look at this while you’re at work.  For real.

Comic after the jump.

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The Saturday Rock Box: Thin Lizzy

For the longest time, I considered Thin Lizzy a guilty pleasure of mine. To be completely honest, I’m no entirely sure why that is–were I pinned down for an answer, I suppose I’d have to own up to some inherent, unfounded need to be cool. Of course, within the limited confines of the reality I lived in, Thin Lizzy wasn’t cool. except for the fact that they were. And continue to be, in fact.

Seriously.

You might consider them to be an archaic relic from times past, or a lesser group during the dinosaur arena rock era, but you’d only be about a third correct about that notion. They’re responsible for way, way more than people tend to give them credit for. Think of all those crappy bands you liked in high school–half of them are derivative of Thin Lizzy in some way or another. For realz.

To further illustrate their importance, let’s take something else into consideration.  Thin Lizzy is from Dublin, home of many, many great historical figures.  Some of them, but not close to all, have statues scattered around the town.  Think Charles Parnell, Oscar Wilde, and James Joyce.  Add Phil Lynott to that list and you’ve got a picture of just how important they are.  In other words, you owe it to yourself to love Thin Lizzy unconditionally.

So, my point is this: guilty pleasure my ass.

Vids after the jump.

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Saturday Dump Festival

Every week, we take you on a brief tour of the awesomeness that the Internet offered over the previous week.  Welcome.

• Man, early Chris Rock is a lot different than the Chris Rock we’ve come to know and love.
• Hey, look–the first computer animation ever.  Wouldn’t you know it involved a dot matrix printer?
• Some students remade the Goofy Movie.  Could they possibly have had more time on their hands?
• How to say “Cheers” in 40 lanugages.  I’ve said it before, but Beeriety is the best beer blog you’ll come across, period.
• Live characters from the Black Hole comic.  Eww.  Also, awesome.
• The Most Awesomest Thing Ever is kinda fun, but dude, flash sites are fucking annoying.
• This drunk guy at Coachella cements my main reason for never having been to a music festival: I can’t handle being around people for long enough to see them this shitrocked.
• This dude makes himself go literally crazy so he’ll do better in bicycle races.  Weirdly, this sounds super-fun.
• This week’s dose of Star Wars-related fun is a barbershop quartet singing the Ewok celebration song.  Yep.
• Best slide into home plate you’ll see this year.
• If you’re getting the urge to be pissed off at your computer, try Hatetris, the stupidly difficult version of Tetris.
• In the event that you consider yourself any kind of a man, you already know about the beard trustworthiness scale.  Not surprisingly, I’m either the “Well-kept” or “hobo” variety, depending upon the day.
• Star Wars + Coming to America = win.

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Comment of the Week: 4/23/10 Edition

Each week, TCM selects the best comment of the week and re-publishes it in a creatively named feature called “Comment of the Week.”  Each COTW gets put in the running for a quarterly prize of some unnamed value, in which the winner’s name(s) will be randomly drawn.  The first prize will be given at the end of August.

This week’s comment is in response to yesterday’s post about Kentucky’s concealed carry law.  It was posted by Dimensio and goes a little something like this:

Extant federal law may prohibit or restrict the possession of chemical agents or biological agents, regardless of an absence of state law prohibiting the possession of such items. I am unaware, however, of any federal regulation regarding the possession or the carrying of an armored space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet.

Dimensio, you’re in the hopper. Thanks for playing, and thanks extra for the laugh.

Coming Soon: 7-Eleven Beer

Hard up for some beer, but you only have two bucks in your pocket?  Need something to wash down that questionable taquito purchase?  Or are you just curious about whether there is a beer on this earth worse than Natural Light?

It's either evil, genius, or evil genius. It's Game Day beer!

Whatever the reason, 24-hour temple of horrible things 7-Eleven is here for you.

This month, the convenience store chain is rolling out its own private label beer.  7-Eleven alleges its Game Day beer will pack a premium taste at a value price.  And about that value price: you’ll be able to pick up a 12-pack for about $7.  That’s 60 cents a can.  If that’s too rich for your blood, try a 24-ounce can for $1.50.  Basically, when 7-Eleven throws around a term like “premium taste”, it’s probably the same kind of premium taste you’ll find in those delicious hot dogs rolling around next to the dusty boxes of Pop Tarts and expired Hostess fruit pies.

Oh, and don’t think 7-Eleven doesn’t know its way around this beer stuff.  It sold a private label beer called Santiago in 2003, presumably named for journeyman catcher Benito Santiago.  As soon as we try it, we’ll let you know if Game Day is worth barfing up after a long day of drinking away your disappointment in Reds pitching.