Someone let a dog loose at a baseball game. Being from Cincinnati, and having witnessed Schottzie firsthand, you can probably guess what comes next: HOT FUME LOAF.
Every week on The Cincinnati Man, our lovely and talented editor posts his “Saturday Dump Festival”–basically a hodgepodge of funny, useful, or bizarre things on the interwebs. Check it out. They’re always full of good stuff. Sometimes there are even delicious brownies hidden away for the lucky reader.
This, on the other hand, is a cupcake made of sweaty taint with dingleberry sprinkles. It’s the worst thing we could find online this week. The timing is impeccable, seeing how we only recently listed the manliest players in baseball. This is not that.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwaSuYZ6svQ
Thoughts:
Somebody got a haircut!
Love the way he pronounces “double plays” at 00:17 and “stolen base” at 00:59.
There’s some academic dishonesty when he sings “roar of the crowd”. These are the Marlins. There is no crowd.
The Super Bowl Shuffle stands the test of time as cheesy fun. This is different in that it is instantly recognizable as the musical equivalent of a panda bear gang rape.
Every player featured in this video is now instantly 20% less manly.
Not that our beloved Reds have ever been a part of something so awful…
This marks our first comment of the week, and hoo boy it’s a goodun. On Monday, we posted a roundtable asking the question, “What’s Manlier, Beer or Liquor?” Perhaps not surprisingly, we unanimously answered, “Beer. No question.”
Clearly the sentiment isn’t shared by everyone, not least Burke:
I think you favor beer of liquor because you’re doing it =wrong=.
I defy you, gentlemen, to disagree that a glass of scotch or a highball glass full of tequila ( corellajo reposado, 3 ice cubes, thanks) is in any way less manly than a pint of Terapin Gamma Ray or malty stout.
Burke, you’re in the hopper for the drawing towards the end of August. If you happen to win, we’ll let you know via email.
CINCINNATI, OHIO – April 16, 2010 – Christian Moerlein Brewing Company and its wholly owned subsidiary Hudepohl-Schoenling Brewing Co. is announcing plans to expand brewing operations to Cincinnati’s historic Over-the-Rhine Brewery District. The site of the new brewing operation will be the former Husman Potato Chip plant located 1621 Moore Street just north of Liberty and east of Vine. “We are proud to be part of the continued renaissance and economic development of Over-the-Rhine,” said Greg Hardman President and CEO of Christian Moerlein Brewing Company.
“Our goal is to strategically implement a phased in production over the next two years from both existing production on some of our specialty beers and from the continued rapid growth our brands,” said Greg Hardman. The company has entered into a lease agreement with an option buy for the 125,000 square foot facility that will enable the company to expand their business for many years to come; additionally, the buildings sound infrastructure and historical significance were main considerations in choosing the Over-the-Rhine location. The site was also the malt and lager house of the former Kaufman Brewing Company from 1869 through 1919 (till start of prohibition).
Initial plans call for minor renovations of offices and general clean up of the facility so the company can relocate its corporate offices from its current Middletown location. It is envisioned the company will employ up to 25 at this location in 2011.
The history of Christian Moerlein dates back 157 years to when the brew master Christian Moerlein, an immigrant from Truppach Bavaria, Germany brewed his first beer in Cincinnati’s Over-the-Rhine Brewery District in 1853. Christian Moerlein ceased operations at the start of prohibition and did not resume operations after prohibition ended in 1933. In 1981, Christian Moerlein was brought back to the Cincinnati market by the Hudepohl Brewing Company as one of the first commercially sold American craft beers and the first American beer to certifiably pass the German Purity Law of 1516 known as the Reinheitsgebot. Local ownership of the brand was lost when out of town owners purchased the brand assets of the Hudepohl-Schoenling Brewing Company in 1999 and later moved production to Maryland. Beer industry veteran and greater Cincinnati resident Greg Hardman purchased Christian Moerlein in 2004 bringing back the local ownership along with an additional commitment to bring back the local brewing heritage. Brewing operations are scheduled to begin in the new Over-the-Rhine location beginning in 2011.
Christian Moerlein Brewing Company would like to thank the Over-the-Rhine Foundation and its Executive Director Mike Morgan for dedicating an amazing amount of time and creativity in seeing this vision come to fruition. The OTR Foundation filled a much needed role, which was making necessary connections with all parties, assisting in negotiations and untangling numerous real estate issues. “Through the OTR Foundations efforts, it literally saved us time and resources we would have had to allocate otherwise. I’m not sure we would have moved along on this project without their assistance,” said Greg Hardman.
Additional thanks goes to the City of Cincinnati who assisted through Senior Development Officer Jeff McElravy by coordinating numerous city agencies regarding water and sewer usage and availability, transportation planning and the city pre-development team in helping much needed answers to make our decision to move forward.
Since our inception in 2004, growth initiative firm Cincinnati Growth Partners have been at the front end of our strategic decision making process. From our initial purchase of the Moerlein Brand and all remaining brand assets of the former Hudepohl-Schoenling Brewing Company, to the Moerlein Lager House in the Cincinnati Riverfront Park and the current production brewery, Mark Signorelli Managing Partner and his team have been vital assets to our strategic growth and decision making processes.
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Christian Moerlein Brewing Company is the brewer of handcrafted Moerlein Lagers & Ales including Moerlein OTR Ale, Moerlein Lager House, Moerlein Barbarossa Double Dark Lager, Moerlein Northern Liberties IPA, Moerlein Fifth & Vine Oktoberfest Marzen, Moerlein Christkindl Winter Warmer Ale, Moerlein Friend of the Irishman Stout and Moerlein Emancipator Doppelbock. More information on Moerlein Lagers & Ales can be obtained at www.christianmoerlein.com .
Hudepohl-Schoenling Brewing Co. is the brewer of Hudy Delight, Hudy 14-K, Burger Classic and Little Kings Cream Ale and is a wholly owned subsidiary of Christian Moerlein Brewing Co. More information on Hudepohl-Schoenling Brewing Company beers can be obtained at each brands website at www.hudydelight.com , www.hudy14-K.com , www.burgerbeer.com and www.littlekingsbeer.com .
Yesterday, there was a flash of Twitter activity surrounding Mandy Jenkins, the Cincinnati Enquirer’s social media person. Turns out, she got a job doing similar work for a D.C.-based local news venture owned by the parent company of Politico.
Moving up in the world, eh?
To simply say congratulations and move on would be a nice thing to do, but it might not be enough. She’s defended the Enquirer more than a couple times during my varied complaints about it and sometimes too-narrow (in just about every way) criticisms of how they handle stuff. I’ve gotta say, on that level, she did a pretty great job, and even made me realize that the problem is less with the reporters and editors of the paper than with the larger organization. In other words, she taught me a thing or two.
To say that the Enquirer will miss her would be to put it lightly; she’s leaving some pretty seriously large shoes to fill, as she pretty much completely defined their social media plan within the constraints of a reasonably constrictive and somewhat monolithic Gannett framework. There are certainly a lot of details I don’t know about the ins and outs of how the paper’s website is built, and that’s definitely important, but here’s something I’m sure you realize: all those Enquirer reporters on Twitter you talk with every day? They’re there because of Mandy Jenkins.
Again, I don’t know the ins and outs of business surrounding newspapers, but it would seem to me that we have to thank her for getting our newspaper up to some kind of contemporary standard. There’s no telling what the next thing is going to be, and no doubt we all have suggestions and questions as to how they’re going to stay relevant. One thing is for sure, though: Mandy Jenkins’s replacement better be ridiculously awesome, because the job isn’t done. There are still lots of questions to be answered as to how the Enquirer, and newspapers in general, will survive, well, the future. Hell, there are still questions to be discovered. This ain’t nowhere close to over.
In the end, it’s congratulations and have a great career still. Right back where we started. So, cheers, Mandy. We’ll miss you over here at TCM.
