My face hurts. Also, Fred and Sharon have a crapton of wild videos @ their youtube page. They are all equally as insane as this one:
via Church of Baseball, one of my fave Reds blogs:
Yep, he says, “I don’t sign for Cubs fans.”
…
Awesome.
Back in December, we posted about this story where a day care worker had been giving kids melatonin to get them to sleep while at the facility. Whelp, she got sentenced yesterday. Six months in jail.
I’d love to provide all the pertinent court documents, but HamCo has them locked. The reasoning? “Sensitive Information.” It appears that they’ve done this with a lot of their case docs lately, and that’s kind of a bummer. What I’m looking for, related to all this, is more from the judge. The Enquirer had a couple of interesting quotes from her, including:
[Hartley] “was knocking them out and making them sleep to make her job easier.’’
Okay. That’s pretty much what the whole case was based on. That’s what the crime is, and that’s what she’s rightfully getting punished for. Fair enough. Onward!
Powers said the use of melatonin, which is a common sleep aid, caused children to have nightmares or sleep around-the clock.
Whoa. Back up there. Since we don’t have access to the court documents, and the news stories really didn’t get into any depth about the effects of melatonin supplements on children, my bullshit detector’s going off a bit here. I can see the outside possibility that melatonin could screw up the sleep cycle (since that’s part of what its natural purpose as a hormone is–to help control the sleep cycle in the human body), but nightmares? That’s a noted side effect of melatonin, I guess, but without access to the court documents, we don’t know how prevalent that was in this case, and therefore seems a hair much. Is Powers just trying to add a scare element to this story?
Don’t get me wrong–the photo of Hartley in the news story is nightmare fuel enough, but why not take the time to put a little infographic together to tell us a bit more about what melatonin supplements are known to do? Maybe a few reliable links or something? It’s not that hard to do. Here’s proof:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/melatonin-side-effects/AN01717
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/druginfo/natural/patient-melatonin.html
http://www.vanderbilt.edu/AnS/psychology/health_psychology/melatonin.htm
All right. All that hard work’s made me sleepy. I’m done with this. Hey, maybe Hartley should have had them chop wood or something; that would have done the trick, too. Fleh.
If you’ve read this site before, you know that I’m a fan of recut trailers of older movies, and this one of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is no exception. What’s weird is that Willy Wonka is a fucking scary movie to begin with. No matter:
I feel like we’d be a bit remiss to not talk about the whole Mel Gibson what-have-you that’s been going down, at least because it highlights a particularly serious issue regarding how to handle yourself with other people–especially significant others. This is, of course, with all the racism and general misogyny aside. Fun/popular as it is to just say, “Hey, Mel Gibson is a racist woman-hater,” I’m not sure what that achieves, other than pointing out the obvious. Generally speaking, you don’t drop the nigger word on people while you’re yelling at them without being a clear racist. You also don’t say the things dude says to women in anger without hating women. Again, not much is achieved here.
But what can we do, as dudes, to take some kind of a lesson from the whole thing? Culturally (and I mean ‘pop-culturally,’ if that’s even a thing), we really haven’t yet moved past the voyeuristic novelty of simply hearing the tapes, and while there are surely folks that are breaking down its contents, I haven’t seen any kind of information that can actually be learned from this.
So, what can be learned from Mel Gibson’s lady hatred?
First of all, a thing or two about interpersonal relationships.
I’m sure there’s more to this, but the whole matter is just tiresome to me. Someone needs to start a manliness school. If there are any interested investors, get in touch, eh?
Photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/23495784@N08/3118313678/
Bruce Willis has a cologne. Named Bruce Willis. LG Health & Beauty Systems “collaborated” with Willis to create the line of fragrance products including hair and body wash (for Bruce, that’s just body wash), deodorant, and the testosterone-filled eau de parfum. LR’s CEO, Tilo Plöger, said that he considers Bruce Willis Eau de Parfum is “the manliest scent in the world.”
What does the manliest scent in the world smell like? Apparently, grapefruit, pepper, and vetiver. I didn’t know what vetiver was either, but apparently it is a grass in India that is used in almost all fragrances. It can also soak up fuel! Perhaps Bruce Willis Eau de Parfum is the solution for the Gulf? Kevin Costner, you just got served.
My editor here at TCM asked me to comment on this and men’s cologne in general. Here’s my take: I am not opposed to men wearing cologne in general. The problem is that for 99.9% of the men who do wear it, wear way too much. I should not be able to smell you if I’m walking 15 feet behind you (I’m looking at you, dude from work). Men’s colognes in general are going to have a harsher smell than women’s (because they’re manlier!). A little dab’ll do ya. For the most part, though, men don’t need it. A scented deodorant works. Or if you want to really pull out your man card, slap on some aftershave. Now that’s manly. Because we know it hurt. You dragged that blade over your face and then threw alcohol on it just for us. Like you appreciate a fresh bikini wax, we appreciate a smooth face to go with it, if you get my drift.
Cologne is fine, because it gives us a chance to hit on you, and get closer than necessary if we want to. Just don’t go overboard, because what we really love is some good ol’ male pheromones. You don’t see us drooling over grapefruit and grass, do you? Exactly.
By the way, Bruce’s fragrance line is only in Germany right now. Maybe the tag line (“Smart Guys Live Forever”) sounds less stupid over there. If you’re wanting to smell like the manliest scent in the world, you’re going to have to wait. Or take a bath in beer, sweat, motor oil, and lawn clippings (the actual manliest smells in the world).
Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/sambrownart/2952472704/